Blog Post 03: The CHILD AGE

In many cases of depression, it is observed that the seeds of trauma are associated with childhood. Any instance in the past leaves an impact on the mind or makes a mental note unknowingly in the subconscious mind. And in present, when similar situation or event occurs, the trauma aggravates emerging the fear associated with it. It can affect one’s mental balance. or the mentality required to face different incidents in life. The manner in which a person’s childhood is spent, may also help in knowing how his mind works. Most humans grow up in three types of environment, which determines their mind-set to a great extent:

1) Protective or Pampered Environment 

2) Carefree Environment 

3) Strict or Abusive Environment

1) Protective or Pampered Environment:

Children born in such an environment may face difficulties in facing the rigors of life. It can affect their decision making. Whatever good or bad, their parents make the choices for them.  So when they feel that they are not fit in any situation, they immediately feel uncomfortable. If any situation arises wherein they have to take the decisions, they go under stress, become restless as they are not able to or used to take decisions on their own. Then instead of facing that situation, they prefer to run away from or to get rid of it. This restlessness can later lead to depression.

2) Carefree Environment: 

Children born in such an environment wish to lead a carefree life. But this carefree attitude may also incite wrongful mentality in them. Many times parents are busy in managing their own career, lifestyle & other responsibilities. They don’t have time to spend with their children. So they try to cover up their guilt by fulfilling all the needs of their children with materialistic things.  They wrongly consider this as the upbringing. Children later on follow the same behaviour as that of their parents. They don’t have anybody around to make them understand the rights and wrongs.  In that case, either they feel alone or they end up in a wrong circle. Later when parents realise this, they make one more big mistake. On the pretext of teaching them discipline, they send them away from themselves to a hostel or boarding, which makes the child mentally distant from their parents. By the time parents realise this, it is too late.

3) Strict OR Abusive Environment:

Children raised in such an environment can become victims of a timid mentality. Or they may also develop a hidden aggression or rebellious tendency. This can also result in their decision-making. There can be two reasons for this. The first reason is the strict behaviour of parents towards children or another reason being domestic conflict or domestic violence occurring between parents. Due to this harsh environment, children are not able to breathe freely. They feel suffocated in such an environment. And when the restrictions, the violence become intolerant, their mind revolts back. This rebellious behaviour, the aggression, can become fatal in the future. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the parents to keep the right coordination of discipline.

Humans born in a good nutritious environment also suffer from depression. Sometimes the surrounding conditions & circumstances also affect the human mind set. That is why, even well-known artists, sports persons, entrepreneurs are found to be suffering from depression despite all the achievements of life, at the peak of their careers, at different stages of life and age.

Nowadays, all highly qualified working parents are busy in fulfilling all the materialistic needs of their children from their childhood and make the mistake of considering this as parenting. The children are not aware that their parents consider the money spent on them today as investments with an intention to fulfil their own hopes & expectations from their children in future. Many a times, they use their children’s achievement to flaunt as a status symbol in their high-profile society. It is not at all wrong for parents to expect from their children. But, is it not necessary to expect, as per the capabilities of their children?  A child may specialize in sports or a child may have artistic qualities. It is unfair to expect such children to top the studies. But for this, it is important to spend time with the children & understand their mind set.  Some children are smart in studies but this does not mean that they have to always excel in the class or in the boards. They will definitely try, as no smart child will like to stand second or last.  But by chance if he secures a second or third rank in the exam, that doesn’t mean that his intelligence is not worth appreciating. But in such cases, parents mistreat them in such a way that a kind of criminal guilt develops in their mind.  And this guilt feeling can inadvertently create a kind of inferiority complex in them.

Parents who are always busy in their own work are unaware of these facts. They focus only on the results. If the results contradict their expectations, they start legislating their children in front of outsiders & relatives by comparing the children's efforts with their own struggles and giving examples of how they managed in their childhood without any facilities or luxuries etc. They fail to understand that their legislation can affect the children’s feelings & their thoughts. A sense of unwantedness, loneliness or a sense of isolation may arise in them. The parents before comparing their children with their own achievements always forget that there is a lot of difference in the competition of their times and today’s time. As a result, the children don’t feel comfortable to express their feelings & their emotions get suppressed. This can lead them to be a victim of depression.

Some mental disorders found in children: 

(For more information, please click on the link)

 

Learning Disorders (Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia, Dyslexia):

https://ldaamerica.org/types-of-learning-disabilities/

 

Conduct Disorder (CD):

https://www.healthline.com/health/conduct-disorder

 

Autism Spectrum Syndrome:

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/autism/what-is-autism-spectrum-disorder

 

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD):

https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/signs

 

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD):

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/oppositional-defiant-disorder

 

Parents and Educators need to take into consideration, how much stress children are bearing at an age that needs to be lived happily with enthusiasm and without any fear and stress.

 

 

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Keep reading to know about the depression originating in teenage in the next blog "The TEENAGE". Till then stay safe and healthy, MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY 😊.

 

 - (KD Blogs)

 ✍© Kunal Deshpande.